Every week parents write to me from the same place — the love is there, the effort is there, and the house still runs on arguing. Send it the way it actually happened. Selected questions get answered in the newsletter and on the blog, so the family who reads it next doesn't feel so alone.
Ask your question
One paragraph about what's happening in your home. Write it the way you'd say it out loud.
I choose one letter at a time and work it through in the Ask Vida newsletter — the situation, the words to say, and what to do when it's tested. If I choose yours, I email you a week before it goes out.
Your question is almost never only yours. Answered publicly, it reaches every parent sitting in the same kitchen.
There is no question too small
and no family too far gone.
Don't tidy it up. The frustrated, specific, 11pm version is the one I can actually help with.
Already written in? Read past letters on Substack.
I choose one letter at a time and work it through properly in the newsletter — the situation, the words to say, and what to do when it gets tested. If I choose yours, I email you a week before it goes out, so you hear it coming rather than stumbling across it.
One family's situation per letter, taken apart and rebuilt. If your letter is chosen, this is where you will read it — and even when it is not yours, it is almost always someone standing in the same kitchen you are.
When you cannot wait for an answer, or it is not something you want discussed publicly. Fifty minutes focused entirely on your family, and a plan you can start that same night.
50 minutes, one-to-one, by video. $97. Come with the situation exactly as it is — you don't need to have it figured out first.
No. Questions are shared first-name-only or fully anonymous — your choice on the form. I never share your email, your children's names, or anything that identifies your family.
No. Sending a letter is free, and so is the newsletter. If yours is answered, you'll find it in Ask Vida or on the blog.
I read every one. I choose them one at a time to work through in the newsletter, and if I choose yours, I email you a week before it goes out. If it is urgent, or too private to be discussed publicly, a private session is the faster path.
Specifics. Not “how do I get my teen to listen,” but “my 14-year-old agreed to the screen rule, kept it four days, and now says the agreement is unfair.” The detail is what makes the answer usable.
Please do. Questions about running the family meeting, handling a child who won't sign, or adapting the agreement to your family's shape are exactly what this is for.
Most of what parents write to me about is solved by the same three tools — a vision you can see, an agreement everyone signed, and a way of leading that's firm and warm at the same time.
Start With The Family Agreement — $37